


Pregnancy, Unplanned

by mat



Category: Sex and the City (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 16:57:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8852947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mat/pseuds/mat
Summary: Samantha (or whatever her name is) gets pregnant; Charlotte enjoys a muffin.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have never watched a single episode of Sex and the City.

Samantha, if that's her name, was sitting on top of Glasses Man reading a book when her clothes fell off. His did too and he was already hard because he was looking at the back of her neck, which he found to be very pretty. She had stopped looking behind apart from one type of looking behind: looking behind her while having sex. His penis went into her not-slimy vagina and, afterwards, she got pregnant.   
  
The main character, whose name I do not know, was sitting in the cafe place with Charlotte and talking about sex when Samantha walked in and giggled. Charlotte asked why she was giggling and she placed her peed-on pee stick down on the table, right next to Charlotte's muffin. The stick had either one or two lines on it, whichever one indicates pregnancy.  
"O to the M to the G!!!" screeched the main character.   
"I to the K to the R!" replied Samantha.  
  
Charlotte ran outside onto the streets of the titular city, which I am assuming is New York City.   
"Hey, I'm walkin' here!" said a passerby, which proved it was New York City. Anyway, Charlotte was going to use a payphone, because the show is set in the 90s, to call Mister Big, her lover de jour.  
"Hello, Mister Big," she said as he picked up the phone.  
"Hello, Charlotte, the pretty one," he replied.  
"I have very big news for you."  
"That's funny, because my name is Mister Big, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."  
"Yes, it is."  
"What is the news, milady?"  
"The news is that Samantha is pregnant by Glasses Guy!"  
"I'm going to have to buy some cigars to share with the man! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."  
"Yes, you will."  
  
Meanwhile, Samantha and the main character were talking smack about Charlotte while they had some time alone without her.  
"Everyone calls her the pretty one, but I think she's the mean one."  
"I think she's the annoying one."  
Suddenly, Charlotte walked back in to finish her muffin and the two women shut up. "Soooo, I just got done talking to Mister Big and he said that he knows this super cool place where you can have a water birth."  
"Like, the thing with the tank?" squirmed Samantha.  
"Yeah, babies know how to hold their breath when they're young enough so being born in water is a simple way to make a splash as your entrance into the world."  
"That's true!" said the main character, "I read in Vogue or some such girly magazine of the type I might read that if you have a water birth, the baby doesn't come out all slimy and messy because it's already had its first bath!"  
"That does actually sound pretty nice," Samantha said, imagining her newborn coming out of her body clean and new, "But what about the placenta?"  
"I heard some people eat it," said Charlotte, in between mouthfuls of muffin.  
"Ew, that's gross," said Samantha.  
"No," the main character interjected, "It's actually supposed to be really healthy and good for you. It promotes good hormone stabilization while you're coming down from the pregnancy. It'll work for Glasses Guy, too, you know."  
"Hahahaha, that's not how it works," chuckled Charlotte, spitting out big chunks of muffin, "The both of them aren't pregnant, just Samantha! It's not like he has a baby growing in his tummy, too! Hahahahaha! It's funny that you thought that!"  
"I didn't think that!!!! I just meant that he might be having a phantom pregnancy or whatever they call it where he gets cravings and stuff too, so his hormones will settle down, too. Don't be so dumb, Charlotte, honestly."  
  
Back at Samantha's abode, Glasses Man was setting up a crib for the new baby.  
"I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, so I got one of each color."  
"But Glasses Guy," Samantha shrieked at the sight of the parts and equipment required to install seven cribs, "There are so many!"  
"Yeah," replied Glasses Man matter-o'-factly, "One of each color, like I said. By the way, I've been thinking, how do you like the name Roy?"


End file.
